Yao Ming: Oh, How I Wish You Were Mine

              Celebrities are fun people, but I’m not sure I could stomach constantly being around one. If I lived next to one, it would be tough to deal with the media swarming my house 24/7. Paparazzi and the 24-hour news cycle suck. For this reason, I think it would be cool living by a retired celebrity. The type who had their moment and still make an appearance every now and then but is content to rest on their laurels at home. Given my personal predisposition to basketball and nice people, I think I would love to live next to Yao Ming. 

              Ain’t nothing worse than waking up every morning to see a news van parked in your driveway with a 2-foot-long camera pointed through the bathroom window of my neighbor. Some woman in a suit walks up to me and sticks a microphone down my throat while her co-conspirator blinds me and asks if I saw anything funny going on next door. I don’t see myself having much fun in this arrangement. Celebrities are cool and all, but only if they’re retired from the spotlight.

Living and having a good relationship with a celebrity next door would be nice, but only if they’re down to earth and mildly disconnected from the everyday media. And there isn’t anyone more down to earth than the 7 ft 6 in Yao Ming, towering over any fence separating our property. I am a big fan of his work and think he has some fun highlights.

              It’s just so nice having neighbors you can talk to. Yao Ming had truly unique career and likely has some intriguing stories to tell. His experience was unlike everyone else who has played in the NBA, as he faced oppression, but also had tremendous cultural support. Also, he’s just a chill guy. Go watch one of his interviews. Do it. I promise you’ll laugh at least a couple of times if you watch his Hall of Fame enshrinement speech. Yao Ming is totally a guy you could see inviting you to come over and sit on his porch as you grill some steaks (he’ll eat like 7 for one meal though). Lately, life has been a little sad. Yao Ming can surely put a smile on your face with a witty joke or a tale of how he punked Shaquille O’Neal some time or another.

              Plus, Yao Ming is a philanthropist. He does good things that you can feel good about being associated with. Because, well, he’s your neighbor and you help him so much. You can attend the family function and when someone brings up Yao Ming’s recent charity work or conservation efforts, you can say, “that’s my neighbor!” He isn’t one of those celebrities that you have to hide your face every time they’re brought up because they fell out of the spotlight into immoral action. You can be proud to be in the same sentence as such a wonderful fellow.

              I golf, and Yao Ming golfs. Maybe we could golf together. Wouldn’t that just be so much fun? We could spend the day on the golf course, having a jolly old time. Maybe we even invite you if we’re up to it. It’s always someone’s personal interest to grow up, get some money, and buy a nice big house. Well, I found where Yao Ming lives in Houston, Texas. It’s a massive house with a wide pool and incredible views. I envision the house next door may look somewhat similar. Greed is real; I wish I lived somewhere so fashionably elegant.

              I’m not a celebrity fanboy, but having connections may come with some perks. There isn’t much more to it than that. Yao Ming seems like a beautiful fellow who I’d love to see from over the fence some time. It certainly won’t be too hard to spot him.

Collins

For reader:

Any and all suggestions are appreciated. Maybe concerning transitions, those seem a little momentarily weak. If you see any places for reflection, that may also be needed more prominently. thank you

Comments

  1. Henry Wang3 February 2025 at 12:43

    Hey Collins,

    I agree, having Yao Ming as my neighbor would certainly be interesting. I'd imagine that since he's long past his basketball prime, there wouldn't be much paparazzi hounding around his abode (but I could be mistaken). The basketball legend certainly suits the "gentle giant" trope and it's probably within reason to assume that he wouldn't be too loud in the wee hours of the day.

    As for your note on transitions, I think the minor disconnect between each paragraph is actually a good feature of this style of blog post. The informality doesn't require seamless continuation of a previous idea. As long as you think all your points speak to how Yao Ming would be a great neighbor, then I have no reason to believe you should make any drastic changes. Perhaps if you'd want some structure, I'd briefly mention/restate your points at the beginning and end, just to push the notions a bit more. Otherwise, great post!

    Henry

    ReplyDelete
  2. Robert Gao3 February 2025 at 12:48

    Collins Rosch,

    Despite much of my reading experience focusing on trying to comprehend this Biblical level of glaze, I appreciated your in-depth examples of your appreciation. Take poignant episodes such as "I golf, and Yao Ming golfs. Maybe we could golf together" or "And there isn’t anyone more down to earth than the 7 ft 6 in Yao Ming, towering over any fence separating our property", for example.

    As per your note, I suggest utilizing transitive verbs - additionally, next, etc. - for a greater paragraphical cohesion. Putting these words at the beginning of adjacent paragraphs could lead to a better flow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Tucker3 February 2025 at 12:51

    This essay is great and really feels like a conversation. I could imagine having a conversation like this with one of my friends. For the transitions, they work just fine for the conversational tone you are going for. As for refection, the prompt encourages the whole essay to be some sort of refection and I think that is what you have done here. There are also some funny stuff in here like "I golf, and Yao Ming golfs. Maybe we could golf together. Wouldn’t that just be so much fun?". Although the whole essay is not comical per say, moments like this make the reader smile or chuckle inside.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Adam3 February 2025 at 13:08

    Hi Collins. This was a great essay! As a fan of the NBA myself, Yao Ming seems like a very down to earth guy. You give a lot of good reasons why he would be a good neighbor. The example of both of you guys liking to golf. Examples like those show you thoughtfulness when you write non fiction personal essays. I agree that it would suck waking up to a bunch of paparazzi at your house. One thing you can do better would be connecting you thoughts from paragraph to paragraph a little smoother.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

To All My Haters,

“Haters are a good problem to have. Nobody hates the good ones. They hate the great ones.” -             Kobe Bryant      To all my haters,                It’s a fine line between love and hate. Y’all on the wrong side and you know it.            I respect your commitment but it’s time to come to your senses.                I see where you’re coming from, hoping you can steal my spot at the top and everything, but know that I earned my place here and don’t plan on moving anytime soon. I’ve worked and worked and worked and can say I deserve what I’ve got. It’s an earned position, one that can be mine alone. I’m open to sharing, but you’d have to get on my level, something I don’t expect to happen anytime soon. Like Messi and...
Read more

Alexa, Play “Despacito”

            In the tumultuous society that we find ourselves living in, there isn’t a more underrated pastime than doing nothing. The world around us is moving at 1037 mph. Most people think they must keep racing around, caught up in the plague of hustle culture. Why not take a break for a little while and enjoy the ride?             Slow up. Take a deep breath. Put off that nagging worry that you’re convinced will be the end of the world. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. Try doing just a little bit of nothing. Trust me, it’ll help you enjoy life some more. You’ll get time to enjoy your present situation or reassess your priorities. Maybe even get the opportunity to just give your brain a chill pill for a little while and let the neurons rest. They don’t have to fire 24/7/365 for your lifetime.             It’s like giving ...
Read more

A Therapeutic Action: Archery, a Success-Filled Escape

              In middle school, I relished my time spent competing in archery. The sport was somewhat of a therapeutic experience. For hours on end, I would enact the same action over and over, concentrating on achieving exact repetition. My mind would lock into a trance, the troubles in my life a forgotten figment of imagination. My life was full of activities, as I balanced my schoolwork, my personal life, and my sports, of which I was often in at least two of every season. As my life has only gotten more chaotic, as I am involved in so many more activities, I wish I could return to competing in archery. Archery provided an opportunity to destress, as if it was some form of meditation.               Every day 15 minutes after the last bell rang, my team and I would walk a brief way to a neighboring building to where we kept our equipment. We would spend t...
Read more